The Wrong Jasper
by The Nerdy Frog
Summary: What if the Rubies actually found a Jasper on Neptune? **fixed formatting issue**
1. Chapter 1

Author Note: I started writing this after the baseball episode came out. I never finished it, and the show later did some things that contradicted my story. So knowing that, this story will be slightly AU, but not that much.

_Prologue:_

If you were a fly on the wall today, what would you see? Just a typical red barn on a typical nice day. It was sunny. There was a hole in the side of the barn. A spaceship created a baseball diamond as it crash-landed, after getting smacked by a giant hand made of water. A large red fusion girl with square hair threatened to pummel other aliens, including a purple girl, a blue girl, a green girl, a 14-year-old kid who looked ten, and a black lady with a square afro. Nothing unusual. 

The large red fusion had enough of this foolishness! Giant Ruby bent over and got right into Peridot's frightened face.

**Giant Ruby:** Tell us where Jasper is, NOW! 

Her voice echoed through the otherwise peaceful Barn. The scared green Dorito couldn't help but stare at the giants' right pupil, which had a red gem in it. Peridot, who was terrible at lying, nervously looked to her friends for support. Too bad they all had liars block.

**Peridot:** Jasper? We know where Jasper is.

**Giant Ruby:** Well?!

**Peridot:** Well Jasper...she's on...

Steven suddenly stepped in front of his friend.

**Steven(pointing at the sky):** On the planet Neptune!

The red fusion squinted her eyes.

**Giant Ruby:** Neptune?

Steven kept pointing at the sky. Everyone was still, except for a single drop of sweat, which crawled down Steven's face. A squawking bird filled the awkward silence.

**Giant Ruby:** ...Well, why didn't you say so?

Once the five Ruby's left and everyone was relaxed, Steven turned to his square haired mother.

**Steven:** Garnet, does your future vision show them coming back any time soon?

**Garnet(adjusting her glasses):** No. I see one possible future where the new Ruby presses a button and makes the ship crash land on Mars.

**Steven:** Oh no!

**Garnet:** I see a second future where they search Neptune for months. Once they figure out that they've been lied to, they come back here.

Lapis crossed her arms and scoffed.

**Lapis:** You don't need future vision to figure out that much. Any dummy could-

Peridot slapped her new BFF on the arm.

**Peridot:** Laaaapiiiis, ix-nay on angering the usion-fey.

Steven was glad that Peridots pig Latin lessons were paying off. He would give her the official diploma later. But right now, he had to diffuse the situation.

**Steven:** So Garnet, are there any other possible futures that we should know about? (Nervous laugh).

**Garnet:** Well, I see one where...wait. What? There's no way...

**Steven:** What is it?

**Garnet:** Don't worry about it. It's very unlikely.

Everyone looked at Garnet in confusion.

**Garnet:** But for now (picks up a baseball bat) who wants to play another round of baseball?!

Garnet flashed a rare big smile. Everyone else fell backward with surprise.

If you could be a fly on the wall of that barn, you might look up at the peaceful blue sky and wonder: What the heck did Garnet see?

_Chapter one:_

Blue. Lots and lots of blue. That's what you see when you're floating in Neptune's atmosphere. You would think that life on Neptune would be hellish, if life were even possible in the first place. Neptune has winds that can blow up to 1,500 miles per hour, which is worse than any tornado. It's 373 degrees below zero on a good day. One year on Neptune is equal to 164 earth years. And Neptune has the second strongest gravitational pull in the solar system. But Jesse Jasper didn't mind all of that.

She calmly stood with her hands behind her back, her long white hair and yellow sundress flapping violently in the tornado-like winds. She was standing on a flat metal surfboard, about the size of a minivan. Every once in awhile she'd peek down. Yup, she still couldn't see anything. It was as if she was flying around in a deep blue fog. An orange orb, her record bot, held unto her board with stick-like hands.

There weren't any debris to dodge, so she just leaned left or right, as she rode against the wind current. A wind current which was stronger than any of earth's tornados. Jasper wasn't scared of the blue planets might, or the gray storm surrounding her. In fact, she was smiling as she pushed against the wind currents towards the eye of the storm. Why shouldn't she? After all, today was the anniversary of her arrival on this planet, 30 Neptune years ago. What do you do for all of that time on a barren, blue, and the blazingly cold gas planet? You skyboard in extreme weather of course!

Her magnetic shoes and jet-propelled board made it easy to enjoy the sensation. With every little tilt, Jasper had to lean in the opposite direction. But not too much, or she'd flip upside down. Birds do the same thing. Unlike a plane, birds constantly make micro corrections in their direction as they fly. Jasper, like a bird, did all of this without even thinking.

Her board left a yellow light trail, which disappeared after a few seconds. When she got to the center of the gray storm, her board was at a standstill. It shook as it tried to push against the insanely strong winds. Her poor record bot, who she called Rec, held unto the board for dear life.

Jasper's board violently shook as she increased the speed. She still wasn't moving. As her board's engine roared the yellow light trail collected behind her, creating an impossible cloud of yellow light. She wasn't paying attention to it though since she was trying her best to move her board.

**Rec:** Attention Jasper.

**Jasper (Annoyed):** What is it Rec?

**Rec:** Jasper, the winds in this storm are moving at-

**Jasper:** I know, I know. 1500 miles per hour, like always. What's your point?

**Rec:** We'll you've been in the same spot for almost a minute now, even though you're board is at full speed. Perhaps you want to try something different?

Jasper smiled when he said that. Rec couldn't sigh, but he could get annoyed. He hated it when she got like this.

**Rec:** I don't like that look on your face...

**Jasper:** You know, going against the wind stream makes me feel like I'm trapped in quicksand. That's no good.

**Rec:** Oh my stars, you're doing the thing again...

**Jasper:** Rec, the humans have an expression.

**Rec:** I don't need to hear the expression...

**Jasper:** Sometimes, you have to go with the flow!

In less than two seconds Jasper turned her board around and flew full speed in the direction that the wind was flowing.

**Rec:** Are you crazy?! One wrong move and you fall right off the board and into the center of a gas planet!

Jasper just leaned forward. She was busy focusing on her board. She adjusted her weight and leaned where the wind was taking her. Then she turned back to her buddy.

**Jasper:** Rec, you may want to hold on tight.

**Rec:** What are you about to do?

Jasper's face was full of mischief as she smirked.

**Jasper:** Hoverboard, deactivate thrusters.

The hoverboard beeped as the lights went off. Everything except the magnet that held her in place was turned off. Jasper's shoulder gem glowed as she pulled two ropes from it. The ropes moved by themselves, as Jasper commanded them to tie around the hoverboards handlebars.

Jasper held on for dear life as the board thrashed violently all over the place. She laughed with glee as the board began to do cartwheels. She didn't even notice that the wind was blowing the board downward.

**Rec:** Danger! Danger! Jasper, we're sinking. This board isn't strong enough to escape the planets pull. If we don't stop, we'll be sucked down to the core. And yes, it's a one-way trip!

**Jasper:** Then hold on!

**Rec:** What have I _been_ doing?!

Jasper turned on the thrusters and turned back towards the wind. Her board effectively parked in midair, unable to defeat the power of the planet.

**Rec:** It's not enough! We might as well be tied to an anchor!

**Jasper:** Be patient.

Jasper's biceps bulged as she pulled on the ropes with all her strength. She began leaning back, which made the front of the board raise a little bit. She could barely concentrate as the wind rushed past her ears.

**Jasper:** (Muttering) Come on!

She leaned back more, which raised the board a bit higher. Soon the board began to vibrate, as it fought against the superstorm.

**Rec:** The board can't take this much pressure, it's going to break!

**Jasper:** Duly noted, now be quiet!

Jasper could feel herself sweating, but the wind blew it away as soon as it formed.

Jasper yelled as she bent her knees to lean all the way back. The board went completely vertical and shot into the air like a rocket.

**Jasper:** WOOOOOOOOO!

**Rec:** If I had a stomach I'd be throwing up right now!

Jasper stayed in that same position for what felt like forever, until she began to see light. Soon she blasted past Neptune's atmosphere and into the vacuum of space. It was freezing, but seeing the sun was like seeing an old friend. As the board settled to a stop, she excitedly yelled at the top of her nonexistent lungs.

**Rec:** There's no need to yell like that. No one can hear you in space. Even if they could, no one would care.

Jasper laughed at that. She pressed a button so that a glass helmet would form around her head. She didn't need to breathe, and the vacuum of space didn't bother her. But without her helmet, she couldn't tease Rec.

**Jasper:** Always a killjoy Rec. You really are a tool of Yellow Diamond. Did you get the footage?

**Rec:** Yes, I recorded your near-death experience. I would advise that you be more careful next time.

**Jasper:** I could, but then I wouldn't get to see you worry. And seeing you worry is so much fun!

**Rec:** The only thing that concerns me is this low battery. It's already down to 20 percent. You really should head back and...

The black screen that served as Recs face suddenly flashed red.

**Rec:** Danger! Danger!

**Jasper:** Buddy, you don't have to sound like an old TV show. We escaped the storm.

**Rec:** No, I'm not talking about that! There's a ship approaching!

Jasper shielded her eyes as she looked at Neptune's moons. She could only see seven of the 14 moons, looked great. With the sun behind her and the space surrounding them, she could get lost staring at this scene. She'd have to come back here and draw this. But...

**Jasper:** Do you need a system update? I don't see a thing.

**Rec:** Maybe if you'd ask me where to look, you'd see that red star above Triton.

Jasper looked above the moon that she lived on, and saw a tiny red star. But Jasper didn't remember there being a red star. As she kept looking, she noticed the star getting bigger.

**Rec:** And no, before you ask, this isn't my way of getting you into astronomy. That star is actually a spaceship, headed right for us.

**Jasper (excitedly):** Wow, neat!

**Rec:** No that's not neat! You're a fugitive from Homeworld. Yellow Diamond probably found you after all of this time. And you know how she feels about deserters. If you don't leave you'll be shattered!

**Jasper:** So the safest thing would be to go in the opposite direction of this ship?

**Rec:** Exactly!

**Jasper:** Go as far away from the ship as possible?

**Rec:** There you go!

Jasper smirked.

**Rec:** Don't you even think about it! No, this is not a smart idea!

Before Rec could say anything else, Jasper activated the thrusters and sped towards the ship. Jasper laughed as her long white hair flew backward with the speed.

**Jasper:** Let's make some new friends Rec!

Rec still held on for dear life with one arm, but he used his other arm to give himself a facepalm.

**Rec:** Sometimes I wish that I was a toaster.

_To be continued._


	2. Chapter 2

Author Note: I changed the Rubies name to the cannon names, but you'll see the AU elements here.

_Chapter Two:_

Have you ever taken a long road trip with your family? You have to sit there for hours on end, and you start to feel like a piece of dried beef jerky. Your family, who you normally love, suddenly become the most annoying people on the planet. But hey, at least you can look out of the window for entertainment.

But if you're in space? You might as well be looking at a black wall.

The five Ruby's were very gung ho as they left earth. But an interstellar road trip will suck the life out of you. The leader Ruby, Doc, said nothing as she steered the ship. Leggy, the newbie, was sitting on her hands so that she didn't press any more buttons. Army was the soldier. Her leg bounced up and down like a jackhammer. Eyeball, The scary Ruby with the jewel eye, growled in frustration. She turned to Navy, who was humming right next to her.

**Eyeball:** Hey Ruby, do you mind switching places with me?

**Navy:** Not at all!

The entire ship rocked back and forth as they tried to move in the cramped space.

Doc was not amused.

**Doc:** Hey hey hey! What's with all the commotion?

Eyeball growled as Navy got stuck on the top of her head.

**Eyeball:** I was trying to switch seats.

**Navy:** I have to say, your hair is very firm! I love it!

**Eyeball (growling):** Thank you.

**Doc:** That's enough! Nobody's changing seats. Nobody's moving an inch! We almost crash-landed on Mars thanks to Newbie over here!

Leggy blushed.

**Doc:** So from now on, nobody moves, got it?!

**Eyeball:** Can Ruby at least get off of my head?

**Doc: **(squints her eyes) No.

**Navy:** (shrugs her shoulders) I don't mind.

Navy began to rock back and forth as she hummed happily. This made Army even more anxious, and her leg bounced up and down even faster. Every one of the Ruby's ignored the loud thump thump thumping, except Eyeball, who clawed her face and growled. Then Eyeball noticed something.

**Eyeball:** Sir, there's something coming towards us. It looks to be a gem.

**Doc:** What? I know you have the best eyes out of us, but I don't see anything.

Suddenly, Jasper stopped ten feet in front of the ship. Doc yelped and slammed the breaks. All of the Ruby's fell forward. Doc stood up like a newborn horse, then leaned against the ship's dashboard. Soon everyone else got up too.

From the inside, they could see Jasper on the board. Jasper waved at them happily.

**Doc:** What the heck?

**Eyeball:** (growls) Do you see her now?

**Rec:** Jasper, I have to advise against this. Please don't do this.

**Jasper:** Hey there! Hello!

**Rec:** You know they can't hear you right?

**Jasper:** Well how do we talk to them?

The ship's yellow light beamed brightly in Jasper's face. She had to use her arm to shield her eyes.

**Rec:** That can't be good. Let me see if I can connect to their radio.

The snarky orange cheese ball began to beep like a fax machine as he connected to the ship. Jasper could hear static in her earpiece. Then a voice.

**Doc:** Hello, can you hear me?

**Rec:** Jasper, you won't be able to talk to them. I'll pass the message along for you.

**Jasper:** First of all, ask them why in Homeworlds name they're here?

**Rec:** First of all, Jasper says hello, because it's the polite thing to do to strangers...

Jasper rolled her eyes.

**Rec:** And Jasper also asks, to what do we owe the pleasure?

**Doc:** Are you Jasper, the leader of the Earth mission?

**Jasper:** I actually like the sound of that name.

**Rec:** She says that she's not.

Jasper could see the Rubies all groan in the ship.

**Doc:** Wait just a second.

Jasper put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. What the heck were they doing?

Back inside the ship:

**Doc:** How many times do I have to tell you guys to be quiet when I'm talking to fugitives?!

Army slammed her fist into the side of the ship.

**Army:** What does it matter?! She's not the Jasper we're looking for. At this rate, I'll never be able to punch someone!

**Navy:** I was having so much fun on this mission, but at least we'll get to see Homeworld soon.

**Doc:** Everyone be quiet! Let me ask you a question: What are the earthlings good at?

**Leggy:** Playing baseball?

**Doc:** No! They're good at _lying_. Think about it. They lied about having gems in that barn. If humans weren't so dumb, I would think that they lied about Jasper being on this planet. Now, look at what we have here: A Jasper who's on the planet Neptune, and what does she do? She _lies_.

The other Ruby's gasped.

**Army:** And we almost fell for it!

Leader: That's OK. Any other gem woulda fell for it easily. But not us. We're too smart...

Jasper crossed her arms and sighed.

**Jasper:** Rec, what are they doing in there, having a town hall meeting?

**Rec:** Why don't you take this as a chance to leave? I don't understand why you always have to test the limits like this.

**Jasper:** Well that's a very long and tragic story. You see-

She was interrupted by more static.

**Doc:** Jasper of the Earth mission, you're coming with us. Yellow Diamond wishes to talk about your failure.

**Rec:** I think you might be mistaken. Jasper already said that she had nothing to do with the Earth mission. Maybe you're looking for a different Jasper?

**Doc:** Nice try, but you can't fool us, liar!

**Rec:** I can assure you that we're not lying!

**Doc:** Ha! That's good. Did you learn how to lie during your time on earth? The humans must be really good at telling lies. I mean, how do you make up an entire fake game, right there on the spot?

**Rec:** Excuse me?

**Doc:** Forget it! I should have guessed that "baseball" wasn't a real sport, but you won't fool me twice! You're coming with us, or else!

**Rec:** Wait, this is a big misunderstanding? Hello? Hello?!

The red eyeball began to slowly make its way towards Jasper. Jasper began giggling loudly.

**Rec:** Jasper, is this really the time?! What are you laughing about?

**Jasper:** (bouncing up and down) I'm just thinking about how much fun I'm about to have!

She turned around and went full speed towards Triton, leaving a yellow light trail behind her.

**Army:** She's getting away!

Army launched herself at Jasper, only to crash into the windshield, ricocheting unto Leader. Once they both crashed into the ground, Navy and Eyeball both rushed to help. They ended up smacking their heads together and landing on top of the other two.

**Doc(muffled by all the Ruby's on top of her):** She's _still_ getting away!

Leggy suddenly stood up.

**Leggy:** Don't worry sir! We'll catch up!

**Doc:** Newbie nooo!

Leggy pressed a big red button, which made the ship shoot straight up. The g-force squeezed them all to the ground. Doc pushed the others out of the way and managed to reach her hand unto the dashboard. She pressed the brake button. The ship stopped on a dime, causing all of the Rubys to launch and get stuck on the ceiling. They all stayed on the ceiling way longer then they should have.

Doc dropped first, landing with a thud. The other three Rubys dropped right on top of her, with Leggy dropping right next to the dogpile.

Doc growled loudly and stood up, which made the other Ruby's fly in all directions like bowling pins. Doc grabbed the joystick which controlled the ship and began to steer it towards the orange speck that was leaving a yellow trail behind.

**Doc:** (shouting) Everyone stop lying around! Get into position! When we catch up to that Jasper, she's going to be in big trouble, understood?!

The other four Ruby's stood up and saluted.

**Ruby's:** Sir yes sir!

The leader grabbed Leggy.

Doc: And you sit in the _back_!

The ship suddenly went full speed after its target.

_To be continued._


End file.
